Breaking down the walls.. figuratively and literally

Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

I think a lot of Christians like to skim over this verse quickly as they read through the Bible. Mainly because forgiveness is an extremely hard thing to do, no matter how big or small the issue. Forgiveness goes against our human nature.

Someone wrongs us, well, we are going to wrong them right back!

After all, they started it!

However, this "childish" attitude is not what God has commanded us to do.

Tonight at Crossroads, Tony, the pastor had three key points about this verse and here they are:

1) Be kind and compassionate! <-- cry with others and have a heart that feels what they are going through.

2) Forgiving=letting go! For me, this is a particularly difficult subject as of lately. I have been truly, deeply wounded by someone I cared and loved unconditionally. By forgiving this person, I would have to let go of the pain, frustration, anger, confusion, heartache that I had allowed to fill myself. For humans, it is easier to wallow in our pain, than to acknowledge it and then make a conscious effort to "let go" and forgive.

3) Forgive because God has forgiven us! This is an incredible statement about God's true character!! We are so undeserving of forgiveness from God, we sin and sin and cause pain and somehow God loved us enough to send His own Son to die for our sins...

All of us have built some kind of wall since childhood. This wall has been built by hurtful words, addictions, family issues, unrequited love, shortcomings, regret, guilt, shame, SIN. We hide behind this wall of supposed protection and can shut others out for fear of what they could do to us. This wall is only a burden to us and will be a constant reminder of our past and possible future failures. We will take this wall that has now become a shackle tethered to our hands and ankles as we trudge through life.. I can't say anyone would knowingly put this torment upon themselves, yet we all have our "wall." At the end of the sermon, Tony has a sledgehammer and broke the brick wall down! I think most of us also felt our wall being broken down inch by inch, brick by brick and a weight was lifted off my shoulders! I knew I could let this hurt go, I could let him go, I could give my wall to Jesus and He would take my heavy burden. I feel lighter and I know this is what my Savior did for me and will always do for me!

So, go, be kind and compassionate and forgive!

Proverbs 31 Woman.

Proverbs chapter 31 is an amazing read about what a Godly wife should be. This verse is especially meaningful to me and is the verse to memorize this week!

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."
Proverbs 31:30

Crossroads "Generate"

I just got home from an absolutely long, exhausting yet spiritually fulfilling day! Had classes and review sessions from 9am-6pm, then went to Generate at Crossroads in Corona with my friend, Brianna, from work. Let me tell you, it was an experience for my broken spirit...

I felt like the message was personally written just for me and what I have been experiencing in my life for the past many years: dealing with fears, depression, loneliness and self-consciousness.

These are important lessons that everyone needs to learn how to cope with. I have tried basically everything (of my own accord) to help deal with these issues... And the conclusion I have found after my many unsuccessful years of searching?

....Only with GOD can we deal with our deepest fears, doubts and supposed shortcomings. Only He can make us whole again. He is the only person we need to rely on. Everyone else, even those who love us, will disappoint, but not God.. He is always there for us, any time, any place.

As I was driving home from church, I turned on Air-1 and like always, the song I needed most right then was playing. It was "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns. This song has the most amazing lyrics and filled me with such peace and love! This is the chorus.. (Go and watch the link!!)

"And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"


Verse to memorize: Philippians 4:4-7

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

"In Repair"

John Mayer's "In Repair" lyrics. This song touches my heart and makes me realize everything will work out in time.


Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair, I am in repair

Stood on the corner for a while
To wait for the wind to blow down on me
Hoping it takes with it my old ways
And brings some brand new luck upon me
Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair, I am in repair

And now I'm walking in the park
All of the birds they dance below me
Maybe when things turn green again
It will be good to say you know me

Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
Oh I'm never really ready, yeah, oh, I'm never really ready
I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there
I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there
I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there
I'm in repair, I'm not together but I'm getting there

New Projects

I have decided as seeing so many others posting blogs about their lives, that I will also embark on this fun little project. My life has recently been a roller coaster of events and emotions that have lead me to work on myself, inside and out. This blog, I hope, will help me become the person I want to be.

I hope to accomplish the following goals this year:

1. Graduate with my B.S. in Biology, Chemistry minor, Natural Science Concentration (I know, it seems like a LOT, but I love science and cannot wait to be a teacher!)
2. Continue with my new found love of Yoga! Anyone who is a natural worrywart or just stressed out all the time, go out and join a class, or buy a video! It will help you feel much more at peace
3. Join a young woman's Bible study, either at The Grove or Crossroads in Corona. I think through my ordeals the last year and a half, God has really been showing me that I need to lean on Him and Him alone. I am so excited to see what is in store for my life :)
4. Hike Mt. Rubidoux with my mom and Kelley every weekend. Kelley and I went last weekend and we had a great time! It was so green and the weather was perfect! And it really wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be!
5. Making as much time for my friends and school and work will allow. Keeping those friendships strong is a major component in having a "Happier" life.
6. The final goal is what I have been continually working on and that is having a happier, more fulfilling life. I just finished the audio book, "Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment" by Tal Ben-Shahar. This book can help anyone become happier and experience more happiness within their life.
   

I am not feeling very well today and woke up with a cold and need to go read for my Microbiology lab tonight. This is a quote I found today and hope you all enjoy it too!

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.” -Anonymous